lundi 16 novembre 2015

After midnight hallucinations

When life is pushing all your buttons
When society is driving you to your limits
And when I say society I mean fam, friends, relatives, 
daaamn sometimes even strangers
وقتاش انفرحوا بيك؟
لقيتي خدمة ولا مزال باك يصرف عليك؟
You carve for detachment but some strings are still attached
You can’t detach because those strings gave you life
You do الخاطر لهادا، you do الخاطر لهاذيك
N you wind up without خاطر
but still you feel you're timed
Anytime, anywhere, you’d go off 
in 3, 2, 1 boom
You know you’ve got but two options
Explode on the face of your beloved ones mostly
cuz society only puts obstacles on your way 
Standards to answer to
Expectations, like the way your mother looks at you in your consin's wedding,
 only girls would know what it means
Things heavily put on your shoulder since day one, since your first breath
study, graduate, find a job,  get married, have kids 
beat your bro, beat your sister,
Beat you couzin, beat ولد ولا بنت جيران
As if we are in a competition or something
You know, the traditional Morrocan thinking of pretense
or maybe it's an Arab thing I can't tell
 Or, dear friend, option 2, you explode within
Like a supernova, you crush down everything
Until nothing no longer makes sense
Your choices, your dreams, your thoughts, your regrets, your faith, your life, 
your everything
That you stay, lost in ruins, unable to know from where to begin
You choose solitude and silence and you stay put
Like a black hole, you let nothing out, not even a single sob
Whatever dilemma, whatever desire, whatever fear
Like a cork in a shore, leaving your faith to tides; in, out, out in
Saying yes to life, to death, to happiness, to sorrow, to insanity, to sanity
Saying no to sanity, to insanity, to sorrow, to happiness, to death, to life
Like an orphan, in need of attention, love and understanding, not out of sympathy
You cherish every smile, every moment of joy
Like a toddler, you crawl, you fall, you walk, you stand; you never stop trying
People will think you've changed
but like a caterpillar you've just evolved
only people who've been down that road, would give you credit
damn it, in time of despair
you envy some closed-minded, shallow, hollow people,
cuz the lesser they know the happier they be
true, the struggle is real my friend
Know, you are not the only one
I am down that road,
I am a timed-bomb, a supernova, a black hole, a cork, an orphan, a toddler
I am an evolving caterpillar