dimanche 11 août 2013

one world, two places at the same time

That incident carried me miles and miles away.
On day before Al Aid, I always come to help my father the pressing shop. He asked me to put a blanket into the sink and soak it. Then he gave a wooden material in order not to wet my hands. It was a tall and big like a baseball stick. The sink is deep and whenever I had to pull the blanket back into the water, I had to bend and stand, bend and stand, bend and stand. I am a woman of a “primitive” African tribe. I am black. I have a cloth wrapped around my chest, another cloth wrapped my waist. My flesh and blood wrapped on a cloth around my back. I am wearing jewels: jewels made of iron, silver around my hands and neck. My hear is thick, curly, and set in the form of tresses. My feet are bare, and whitened by the dust. I am doing housework. I am crushing something on that wooden mortar and pestle; it is a couple, there is the container and the wooden stick; I am singing in my mother tongue. Maybe Swahili, maybe Zulu, maybe some unrecorded mother tongue. I am singing with the women of the tribe. All of us working with the same material, helping each other, each using its own pestle to help crushing the same plants on the same mortar. There is harmony in our moves. Some bend, some stand accordingly. Some stand, some stand in rhythm.......

lundi 5 août 2013

Ex Mr. X

It’s strange how life goes on
Am now turning word into English
Yesterday Mr. x was alive, flesh and blood
Now he’s only some ink on some paper, some pics on some album,
some gifts, some memories, some regrets
I dunno what Mr X family would think of me as apprentice turning Mr. X into words
But Mr. X in no longer Mr. X
In fact Mr. X is an ex Mr. X
He’s a number on a grave
He’s just a name, birth and death
I dunno what Mr. x Family would do
Since the date of his death precedes the date of his birth
He died 3 days before his birthday,
Celebrate then mourn, no maybe mourn and then celebrate
I know, I know I have to do with none,
Am to turn that into words
But the fact just marked me, me who am still asleep
I had that in mind for so long
I am like Mr. X, wish to die on the day I was born
So as I entered, I would leave!

samedi 3 août 2013

.


 A 63 year old paedophile who rapped 11 Moroccan childen, was released by Royal grace, so what?

jeudi 1 août 2013

Granpa!!!!
I know you are listening.
Since you departed,  you never visited me, why?
Please Granpa! I have so much to say to you!
I want to see that you are happy so I can carry on with my life.
Please Granpa, show up!
Please!

mardi 30 juillet 2013

Daily Reflections



That moment when you feel at loss, torn between two dear things to your heart. I am torn between what I want and what my parents want. I am so because it is my life am leading not theirs. They had the opportunity to lead the life they wanted, nobody chose for them; nobody forced them; nobody advised them. And as I can see, they did quite good. Why don’t they let me do so. Why always making things harder? Why always leaving me with the same tremendous complex one-wayed choice: them or me.  Allah or me.

I was invited to a cultural event. Though am a grown up, I’ve always asked permission to do this or that. as usual I went to ask permission from my father. His answers was: “you stay where you are, settle down a little bit, all you know is going out and having fun, you better mind your studies and training.” And he went out.

His words slapped me; settle down, all I know is going out, mind my studies and training. I who stopped meeting my friends, I who have been away for the whole school year, I who since I started my training know only one direction: home-training, training-home, as a robot. I didn’t complain, because I promised him to keep on going in the training. I who, unlike my sister, after I break the fast, I go upstairs and sleep, instead of going out with my girlfriends, after all that I have to settle down and mind my studies and training.

His behavior gave me the impression that I was a 5 or 6 year old little girl; when asking permission, she got a simple No and that’s all. I am no little girl. If asking permission would be a No, I guess am way old to deserve the No-reason. Why No? a rational reason.

As I said am a grown up, I can easily do whatever I want whenever I want; but I can’t. I just cannot. I want to do things with the blessings of my parents. So no cultural event,, I better settle down, and mind my own studies and training.